All I could think was
the carnival sets up in the parking lot next month
while he pointed gun at me

like gun was nothing if not inevitable
Gun was something I’d seen coming
as surely as I’d seen him coming

as surely as I’d unlocked my door
Gun was the price of rent in Nashville
Gun dictates, mandates, gun controls

I knew what I’d do that morning
My first word-thoughts rang
“I guess this is just what happens”

I never thought he’d kill me
and when he told me to go
I walked into work like I would’ve any morning

under the moth heavy streetlight
I felt no fear
I felt barely anything

Was I robotic? Was I typical?
I felt no red rising in me,
no gaining sprint in my feet

Should I be scared that I wasn’t scared?
I missed my items and my car

being held at gunpoint felt less like being held at gunpoint
than working the goddamn drive thru


Left Lane is a writer and broadcaster operating near the Tennessee-Kentucky border. Her works have appeared in Zephyrus and Coffin Bell. She hosts a radio show on Revolution 91.7, where she tries to resist the temptation to play more than one Radiohead song per shift.